Haven't had a bonified "hit" in a few years? Come to Montana!

I love that the people of this state still get excited for things. Its genuine and refreshing. I imagine some bands, when their tour takes an awkward swoop upwards through the northwest grimace and brace themselves for what they think will be a shitty stop, but I'd like to think that 9 times out of 10 Montana proves them wrong.

We get excited for you. We don't get a new big act coming through every week. We are happy you even noticed us!

Case in point:

Rockin' the Rivers

Their lineup looks like this:

• Third Eye Blind
• Soul Asylum
• Dennis DeYoung the music of Styx
• Nazareth featuring Manny Charlton
• Roy Rogers and the Delta Rhythm Kings
• Eddie Money
• Fran Cosmo former lead singer of Boston featuring Barry Godreau and Anthony Cosmo
• Foghat
• Bad Company former lead singer Brian Howe

Plus More!

People are stoked! I'm kind of stoked! I actually still have Third Eye Blind albums around here somewhere . . . I really liked them in middle school and once tried to figure out a way to go see them in Spokane at the Opera House. It never happened. Nevertheless they are "do do do do do do do" guys whose song was actually about meth I think. (The song was Semi-Charmed Kind of Life btw)

Rockin' the Rivers involves camping out for a few days and partying and listening to bands from the 70s and probably smoking weed. Everyone will be having a good time and they will be LOVING THE SHIT out of every band that goes on that stage, respects the audience and plays like they did at the height of their fame, I guarantee it.

Remember All-4-One?

This was the first image that came up on google image search.
Blame rests there.

You shouldn't probably. They were a Boyz II Men rip off that was actually ingenious because their hit songs were just R&B versions of country songs. This meant that record companies could release the same song in two markets with very little crossover and make double the dollars on the single. See? Brilliant.

All-4-One peaked in 1994. Then they disappeared into obscurity. . . until 1999! In 1999 All-4-One came through Great Falls! I could of cared less, I liked alternative music then, I liked Fatboy Slim and Green Day. My taste was evolved. < / sarcasm>. BUT all the girls in my 8th grade gym class lost their shit for that band. They all had tickets they all got photos with the members and the next day they all were in the locker room debating which one was the hottest. This band hadn't been on cultural radars for five years, but there I was, listening to girls debate who was hotter: the All-4-One dude with the fu manchu or Justin Timberlake - for serious!

Montana is genuine. Montana will love you. Look forward to meeting us Third Eye Blind.

Murmaider, Mermaid Murder

Nic Cage's son Weston Coppola-Cage is quite obviously the living embodiment of Nathan Explosion. (Albeit with a touch more makeup)


Just sayin'.

Video proof below! Sorry, its from TMZ (barf noises) but it only furthers the point when he talks about "unleashing the dark, icy winters with the Norwegian black metal."


Best celebrity spawn ever.

Never Tear Us Apart

Chloe Lattanzi "Rock The Cradle"
Uploaded by TheDlisted

Poor Chole Lattanzi, AKA spawn of Sandy (AKA Olivia "Let's Get Physical" Newton-John).

Perhaps a young girl with body-dysmorphic disorder and severe (we're talking recent hospitalization) anorexia shouldn't be put on stage live to preform in front of millions of people (plus countless repeats!) and be judged.

Maybe?

Perhaps also certain plastic surgeons should discourage 22-year olds from unnecessary collagen and face-lifts.

You think?

She said she couldn't hear herself sing. It sounded like someone who knows what singing is, technically, trying to sing big words as if English was their second language. She was singing sounds really. Maybe it was a really a tone poem set to an INXS song and she's just a brilliant performance artist.

After much debate, I settled on her looking like a mix of Miss Newton-John and a Cat-Person. That would make her 25% feline as the cat-person is assumed to be 50/50.