I am a Fashion Blogger.

Old Navy had what one could consider "a decent sale" going on this weekend. I, having decided money in your pocket is overrated, skipped across town to check it out.

Perhaps you've seen their new(est) ad campaign featuring sad girls and whiny singing?

This is a silent version of an annoying ad, thank me later.

I ventured to the Old Navy to see these "neon" clothes (note: the clothes are not neon at all - much to the dismay of ugly-clothed hipsters everywhere). The new line was mostly compressed onto three or four racks and was not on sale. But, like I said before, I decided having money is for lamezoids so I tried on the dresses anyway.

When did looking like you were pregnant (or worse, trying to hide a pregnancy) become fashionable?

I don't understand this. Have a look at some of these offenders.This
is the Women's Cowl-Back Tank Dress. In this picture it doesn't look too awful. Don't be fooled. The bottom is perfectly okay, a little flimsy, but fine for $20. However, the top is weird and boxy and the cowl on the back just hangs weird.

Also, you look pregnant in it.

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This is the Women's Halter Dress although some may call it by its true name: halter nighty. The colors are pretty, the cut is bizarre and not really forgiving if you have, I don't know, let's say boobs.

It retails for $34.50. Which I think is a lot to pay to look like a baby prostitute who is with child.

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Old Navy calls this the I call it a fancy table cloth I cut a circle out of and draped around my neck. It should have just been Old Navy's new curtain and patio ware line and that's it because this pattern is wasted on a dress that makes it seem like you're buying time until you can figure out how to tell your boyfriend he's got a little one on the way.

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Ahhh. The coup de grâce. This is the Women's Georgette Halter Dress. The cut of this one kind of reminds me of the dress Angelina Jolie wore to the SAG awards a few months ago. It kind of looks like a sack, but on Angelina it was a pretty sack. To be fair though, Angelina could go spend $10 at Target on Glad bags and she's still look great. This look does not translate to everyone else.

This piece of fabric costs $39.50. I say piece of fabric because that's what this is. It is the equivalent of going to the fabric store, picking a nice pattern, getting a few yards cut, cinching it near the top, stapling some string to the top and wearing it about town. The silhouette is insane. From the side you look like a sail boat sail. From behind you look like a little kid wearing a beach towel.

Oh, did I mention you also look pregnant?

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Do yourself a favor, stay away.