Reason 827 why I don't have cable at home:
I am currently listening to a dude who looks like John Waters talk about how the Duke (who died of colon cancer) had 44 pounds of poo stuck all up in him when he died.
He is promoting a product called Dual Action Cleanse and has stated that if his product was around back then John Wayne could have cleared out the toxic fecal matter that killed him (apparently). He is also asking callers to describe to him the size and shape of their fecal matter to their children's.
GOOOOOOOOOOO CABLE!
dear god he just said "ungulate"
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