Bustle in your Hedgerow!

Betcha thought you could never do the twist to Stairway to Heaven.

WELL YOU WERE WRONG!

(The Mp3 is available here)

Article VI doesn't mean I can't hate Huckabee

However, what Article VI does not do, and was never intended to do, is deny me the right to say, as loudly as I may choose, that I will on no account vote for a smirking hick like Mike Huckabee, who is an unusually stupid primate but who does not have the elementary intelligence to recognize the fact that this is what he is. My right to say and believe that is already guaranteed to me by the First Amendment. And the right of Huckabee to win the election and fill the White House with morons like himself is unaffected by my expression of an opinion.

-Christopher Hitchens, This Is Not a Test, Slate.com (emphasis mine)

It terrifies me how well Huckabee is polling. However, polls also say that most all the Democratic challengers would whomp him. When you add Chuck Norris as a running mate; however, a wrench is thrown into the system and the world spins off its orbit and into the sun.

PS: Polls mean nothing.

No You Cannot Has Teh Cute.

The Belz + David Cross FTW.

Set to the gloomy violin version of Chocolate Rain, animals refuse to cross the picket line and be cute for your amusement! Somebody writes that cuteness you know, and they deserve compensation goddammit.

This was written by the genius minds of the Colbert Show, which I sorely miss.

Jump the Shark!

More like jumped the shark with friggin' lazers strapped to its head, or jumped the shark while the shark tank was being blown up with dynamite. Okay dudes, when Huckabee gloms onto your silly meme it is officially dead. RIP Chuck Norris Facts.



CHUCK NORRIS APPROVED!


*PUNCH*

You Suck Luck!

A couple of weeks ago Roth and I went into the Walden books at the mall with a 30% off coupon burning a hole in my pocket. We picked up the last remaining copy of Christopher Moore's You Suck (hardback, natch). In flipping through the book we discovered that someone had signed the title page (see below). Weird . . . it kind of looked real and we could make out a "C' and an "M." Roth goes up to the old guy at the counter who proves to not know much of anything about it - as in is it vandalized or real - and just says the red sticker on the back means its from the warehouse. We buy it because chance it's real outweighs any possible disappointment of it being a weird fake. We get home, google it and guess what!

It's legit!

On other copies of the book the signature is in the same place, same size and same color, so I feel fine saying we've got the real mccoy.

So how did a signed copy of You Suck end up in a mall bookstore in Montana?

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42

I'm learning PHP currently and the array examples used by the instructor are always the Lost numbers. . . tehehe!

Additionally, I found out that unless this writer's strike gets resolved before March-ish we will be given only 8 of the promised 14 episodes for next season. EEP!!!

Danny Glover 4Eva

I've been out of college for almost exactly six months. Apparently this is enough to be completely detached from college culture - or so MTV U would have be believe.

Last night they gave away their "Woodie Awards" (huh?) I really didn't know anyone in college who listened to most of the winners let alone anyone who would give them an award for being great (or even tolerable really). I will recognize some of the winners as being good (Muse) and some of the nominees for being actually great (Thom Yorke - but he was nominated for being "good***" and he didn't win???), but seriously the only award "The Academy Is" really deserves is one for their ability to make me want to punch them in the face on sight. Justice was nominated again for their excellent D.A.N.C.E. video, but didn't win - which makes no sense really since they were nominated for an actual (meaningless) VMA award a few months ago in basically the same category.

So, it begs the question - do college kids really listen to Fall Out Boy and Boys Like Girls and Say Anything (BARF) , or is MTV U's real target audience high school sophomores? Cause at 23 I feel like I am too old for this shit.

------
*** : The actual award is "The Good Woodie" gah?

Happy Guy Fawkes Day

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
The gunpowder, treason and plot,
I know of no reason
Why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, ’twas his intent
To blow up the King and Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below,
Poor old England to overthrow;
By God’s providence he was catch’d
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, make the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!
Hip hip hoorah!

A penny loaf to feed the Pope.
A farthing o’ cheese to choke him.
A pint of beer to rinse it down.
A faggot of sticks to burn him.
Burn him in a tub of tar.
Burn him like a blazing star.
Burn his body from his head.
Then we’ll say ol’ Pope is dead.
Hip hip hoorah!
Hip hip hoorah hoorah!

-via Harper's Magazine which has an excellent on Guy Fawkes and what he means today.

booze.

Coca Cola's new slogan that ran during American Idol is "Thanks for Drinking."


You're *hic* welcome Coke

shipping costs blow

On January 8th I ordered a few things from Urban Outfitters super clearance sale.
On January 12th I received a box from UO with the correct number of items, but none of them were what I ordered.
On January 13th I used their "smart label" mailing system to send them the items back.
On February 8 I finally received what I ordered.
On February 13th I sent back a messenger bag I ordered as it was much smaller and more oddly shaped in person than it appeared on their site. I again used the "smart label" technology to send it back.
On March 1st I received a refund for my purchase - less six dollars.

They charged me shipping twice on items it took me a month to receive. They deducted six dollars off my refund because I used their "smart label" technology. It is only six bucks - but it comes out to fourteen dollars of shipping on roughly 4o bucks of stuff. lame lame lame

I bet Apple will be much better to me when I order my new sweet computer.