O' Holy Night

Merry Christmas Eve!

Encore is celebrating with "Dawn of the Dead."


Thank you Encore, you are badasses.

What cable has taught me

I've been home for Thanksgiving break, a place where my parents have both internet and cable. This has allowed me to learn (remember?) a few things.

1. If TLC is any indication - it is easy to buy a house and then completely remodel it - because everybody is filthy rich.
2. The rich people on the TLC shows must be the ones that spawn the children on MTV's Super Sweet 16 - AKA: The Most Vicious and Horrible People on the Planet. After they finish editing together those shows they should strap the kids in to chairs, make them watch themselves and shock them whenever they say or do something nasty on screen. Then they should give their BMWs to charity and force them into volunteer work so they can see how people who don't have their parents and friends licking their ass operate,
3. VH1 can do a talking head show on any subject - I Love the Holidays? What the hell. But I do love me some Michael Ian Black.
4. Franz Ferdinand's new video is awesome. Franz Ferdinand's new single is awesome. Franz Ferdinand is awesome.
5. There are new episodes of Degrassi - and Liberty is pregnant! LIBERTY! And JT is selling drugs! Ohmygawd.

Oh shit I didn't do any homework.

LAMENT LAMENT LAMENT

lament sob cry

fuck you fox network

fuck you and the war at home

fuck you michael rappaport

we love you bluths.

NEVER FORGET.


We should totally teach them a lesson....

BabyMomma Dramma!

Kevin Federline has a rap on the internet.


and he's serious.





BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(thank you interweb)

sorry if there is anyone that reads this - my sheep blog has been getting all my attention as of late.

I got a fever and the only prescription...

... is more damn cowbell.


WHY is it so hard to find a decent .wav file of this clip?

My "All Dance All the Time" radio station needs some Walken lovin' cowbell love.



Seriously you'd think that shit would be all over the web, repeated like a billion times on shitty geocities websites.

SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!!

OH SHIT

we are totally on a plane...

AND THERE'S SNAKES!!!


Sam Jackson is a badass for life. Hell I'd be in a movie if someone told me the title was Snakes on a Plane too. Also this appears to be pretty much the plot to a SNL sketch from the mid 90s... with a cobra ON A PLANE!.


that one talked I think.


Either way Keenan is totally in this one.... Welcome to Good Burger Home of the Goo... HOLY SHIT THERES SNAKES AND WE ARE ON A PLANE.

awesome.

... and a man picks up the phhhhhaaaaooonnne!

So R. Kelly is a really REALLY shitty actor.

Especially when he plays female characters or gay male characters... or for that matter, himself (I'm assuming). I suggest y'all head on over to mtv.com and watch the VMAs live. (it only works in internet explorer... lame) Find R.Kelly's live performance of "Trapped in the Closet" and watch it. The man is pretty much crazy.

Remember at the talent shows in elementary school when you'd have like 3 girls lipsynch something like "And I Will Always Love You (Whitney version, not Dolly version)" while acting out a skit of some sort or doing wretched dance numbers? That's pretty much what Mr. Kelly did at the VMAs. Except, instead of in front of 300 kids aged 5-11 he did it in front of a couple million people. To his own "opera." On a shitty "bedroom set". By himself.

He lipsynched his own song, and its not like he was caught lipsynching, no no no. He was doing it so he could better express the emotion and intensity of the story. Again, I feel the need to repeat this a lot - BY HIMSELF. He played all 4 parts and lipsynched "lines" like "And Rufus said Cathy! and Chuck said Rufus! and Cathy said Rufus! and Rufus..." you get the picture.

At one point he stood spread eagle with 2 imaginary people pulling him on both sides. AGONY!

The Chuck, Rufus, Cathy, R.Kelly, R.Kelly's woman, and a poilce officer love trapazoid is hilarious. - see this now.

If it isn't Hogan Knows Best - I don't care!

I can't imagine being as much of an attention-whore as the current crop of reality television rejects seem to be. Honestly - "Battle of the Network Reality Stars??" I suppose by the time you are even asked to be on the show you're pretty much pigeon-holed as the "bitchy one from Real World" or the "doofy one from Big Brother" or the "vapid one from Joe Millionaire," but still - why do these "stars" (yeah right) feel the need to perpetuate their position as adjectives instead of people?

Richard Hatch from Survivor will always be the chunky, naked guy who conniving won the first Survivor, but even now that he's lost a lot of weight, seems to usually be wearing clothes and is probably really smart, that's not him, at least on camera. On television Richard Hatch will always be associated with chunky, naked, conniving - all adjectives, not a person.

Even with people who basically will do whatever you tell them to do in front of cameras this probably won't be better than the original cause that one had Wonder Woman and Real World's Trashy Trishelle is no comparison.

Yippee-kii-yay

Hey guess what I won?

MACROMEDIA STUDIO 8

(first release)

oh man oh man oh man

AWESOME

awesome job = awesome perks

I win.

I SAW THE WHITE STRIPES

it can be described as:

crazy-fantasic amazing

but that doesn't do it justice, so how about:

holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit
holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit

I very nearly exploded out of joy.

Rock and Roll!

Okay this is my new most favorite thing.

A Band of Bees.


If you don't immediately love them after watching the "Chicken payback" video then you have no soul.

Throwback dance music to the 60s and the kinks? CHECK
Throwback 60s fashions on hipster Japanses kids? CHECK
Girl getting hit in the face with a platform boot? CHECK
Japanese kids playing Dance Dance Revolution? CHECK
Sweet pompadors? CHECK
Cowboy hats? CHECK
Jungle Noises? CHECK
Super-Sweet Dance Moves? CHECK
Acid-wash Jeans? CHECK

Damn Skippy they're badass.

Payback the monkey... Payback the piggy... Payback the chicken back to the chicken baby....

Things I Know.

So I know both a Charlie Wolf and a Charlie Fox.

One thanks to Lee... the other thanks to a car accident.


wheeeehaw..... except you have to say it Challey Wolf to make it sound right.


Also Jane magazine know I secretly like Kelly Clarkson... goddamnthem they must be stopped.

"since you've been gone, I can breath for the first tiiiiiiiiiiiimeeeeeee!"

Where Are They Now?

Lil' Pete from Pete and Pete has a bluseyish jam band (my describtion after listing to 1 half of 1 mp3) . They are called Jounce.

I woulda pegged him for more of a fan of Metallica rather than Dispatch... but I guess you can judge a person's musical taste by what the character they played when they were 9.

Big Pete was in Slackers and that will forever be a good movie cause Jason Schwartzman rode a Unicycle and called himself Cool Ethan.



The Interweb teaches me things and for this I am grateful.

G-G-G-G-G-G-G-UNIT!

Last Saturday I saw 50 cent and Lil' John at the Big Sky Ampitheatre which is really a field next to the Brewery where they build a stage and sell beer and hot dogs. It took 2 hours of standing in the blistery winds to get in - well not reall in, more like around - the building to see the show, but I did get to see the poet that wrote the immortal verse:

From the windows/
To the walls/
'Till the sweat drips down my balls/
Down these females craws

So that was cool. Then theres a part about skeet shooting or something.

Some observations:

• I'm not saying that you shouldn't let your kids listen to rap music - but I don't think you should bring your 5-year-old to a show where every other word is fuck and the preformers regularly ask the crowd "WHO HERE LIKES TO SMOKE WEED?!?!?!" Then you add in the references to the girls with the "big titties" and all the gun noizes and you're just asking for some kind of warped childhood. Although I guess if you do choose to pay 50 bucks to bring your five-year-old to see Fiddy you probably don't care too much about warping their brain.
• Girls will hooch up for any show really, but rap shows seem to bring the inner hooch out in flying colors. Cold winds couldn't hinder the hooches at this show who seemed to say to themselves "Ahh the concert is in a giant field and the paper says there is a chance of rain - I definetly should wear the mini skirt, tube top and the 4 inch stiletto heels."
• Eating popcorn at a rap show seems weird. Paying three bucks for a small cup of beer and foam seems weirder.
• When you are part of a larger group it is harder to preform the songs by yourself. I mean, Bizarre was interesting to see, but he had to cut all of the D-12 songs down cause, well, you know he is only 1 member of D-12.
• Rappers are similar to fifteen-year-olds on prom night - they both like to be sparkly.
• If I were in a band, I like Fiddy would end every song I did with a gun blast - you seem much cooler that way, and at least the first time you're going to startle some people.
• It will only be a matter of time until the giant pendants around rapper's necks are replaced with a model of the rims of their ride - actual size.
• Lil John had a big blow-up Crunk Juice prop, that seems about right.
  

He likes pancakes and is probably older than you

So apparently Andy Milonakis was born in 1976 which would make him not like some ADD-ridden 14 year old with the crazies but a 29-year-old guy who just happens to be able to act like some ADD-ridden 14 year old with the crazies. He has some kind of hormonal thing that makes him look much younger than his actual age (kind of a reverse version of that crappy Robin Williams movie Jack).

Either way that thing with the old guy in a lawn chair holding a tube of Bengay at the end of every rainbow was pretty funny.

"RAINBOWS SUCK!"

Hurrah it's 88¢ Tuesday!

What other reason would I ever have to even consider renting National Treasure or Seed of Chucky?

Loyal Degrassi Army! ASSEMBLE!

So glarkware proves again and again that Canada knows their shit when it comes to clever and/or awesome clothing.

Dear lord there's a Degrassi shirt.

Heathcliff It's me Cathy....

So when I saw the Decemberists a few months ago Petra Hayden sang on a cover of Kate Bush's Wuthering Heights and it was AMAZING. I can only find a live performance of it, but it's avaliable for download.


I've read Wuthering Heights, but I didn't like it much... maybe cause I had to read it in the summer when my reading time is more or less spent on shorter or at least funnier things and Wuthering Heights is pretty long and fairly tragic... but I like the song so much I'm considering rereading it for fun.


Yeah you heard me, rereading Wuthering Heights for fun.

Why is moving so hard?

Goddamnnit I need to put everything in boxes but everything is more interesting than packing and I can get distracted for like 2 hours when I find some old balloons and my book on how to make balloon animals. Also old photo albums suck me in and the new Home Movies DVD and then I'm just sitting on the couch in a mess of papers and crap and I can't figure out where the last 2 hours went and my stuff is most definetly not in boxes.

Also I need to pack glasses without them smashing.



My balloon sword and helmet were kickass though.

I have a new toy

AT&T Labs has demo up for a more reliable text-to-speech. They plan to use it for telephone systems and other things where real people are smply too busy to read.

This is all well and good, but I much prefer making an old British man recite the lyrics to "Ho" by Ludacris.

Take it away Charles!

Why Jack White?!

God not only is he a pirate, he's a married pirate.

I liked him better before he went crazy and got a pamphlet on "How to Look Creepy while Sporting Facial Hair like a Pirate or 70's Porno Star"




Ryan Adams seems to be going this way too, except instead of pirate he seems to like the idea of scraggly flower child with a trunk full of nice jeans and Harry Potter's glasses, or Johnny Depp in Secret Window.




Oh boys you used to be soooo much prettier...

My playlist is a little centered...

So Audioscrobbler is my new obsession.

It records my playlist into my profile and after I get so many songs on my list it will make me a radio station. Also i can listen to radio stations based on artists similar to ones I like.

However, right now, it seems to be a little confused by the overwhelming abundance of Tom Jones I've been listening to.


DAUGHTER OF DARKNESS!!!

Thoughts while sitting at work

1. MSN has more gossip than news.
2. MSN has more Star Wars content than gossip.
3. Client Schmient
4. I don't want to go to my other job tonight
5. This summer feels like fall so far
6. NanuSucks blog needs a wider audience
7. Radioio Rock is a fun station
8. Photo Manipulation is more fun than CSS
9. Playing Sims2 is more fun than photo manipulation
10. I need a place to live.

after that its kind of a loud ringing noise.

I kind of already

want to change the look of my page.

Things never last.

Finding a place to live is hard

For Nanu

Things that are awesome on the internet (part 1)

Random Facts About Vin Diesel
Glarkware
Boing Boing
Overcompensating
Shark Punch
Black Diamond


Enjoy cool.

THIS IS HOW YOU REMIND ME

Constantine got kicked off American Idol.


That's what you get for singing Nickleback.


Lameass.

BOWL. NOODLE. HOT.

Pleasasaur was amazing.

He dressed up like a Yeti and sang a song reminicent of "Don't You Talk to Strangers" by Jared Jumps Over the Moon about strangers in white vans that have the best candy.

He also had a song about a tasty meat island where lions eat candy and eventually him and his grandma. Oh and a limo service called "No Prob Limo!"

I need to invest in some projectors and costumes.


The Volumen refused to play "Minitaure Action Jesus" and I miss Fiesta:The Band even if the members have gone on to do better things, nothing beats several songs about minor league baseball in a row.

markabouttownmarkabouttownmarkabouttown
markabouttownmarkabouttownmarkabouttown

I don't care what You say.

I like Tom Goes to the Mayor.


Michael Ian Black, Jack Black, Kyle Gass, David Cross, Jeff Goldblum and Bob Odenkirk can't all be wrong.


(nevermind that MIB is in those Sierra Mist ads)


"Hi I'm Tom Peters but you can call me Poop!"

Darth likes it Dark

If liking dark chocolate M&Ms means aligning yourself with the dark side...


sign me up.

Elvis Costello Rules...

...but a 35 dollar baby doll tee does not.

I wanted one pretty bad, but not that bad.


I will have to settle for awesome interent shirts.


P.S. Elvis Costello is amazing and I would see him again in a heartbeat.

You're not a hooker, are you?

The power went out at my house at about 9:12 this morining. I woke up to my printer going bezerko. I came in the hooose to check on my laptop. Now I am watching Showgirls and eating cereal.

Why is showgirls is on at 9:30 in the morning?

If you have to ask you don't watch VH1.

I can see my house from here.

Google local is amazing. Go look at it now.

CLICKY

I found my house and the U and got a better understanding of just how messed up this city's roads are in five minutes.

As it appears that one day google will be the most powerful force on the planet I suggest you align yourself with them now... cause when judgement day comes, the reckoning will be intense.

I totally play video games...

...when I'm not at Hot Topic

I made a fake webpage for a fake record label today.


Hooooray for awesome jobs!

Weird...

Robot Chicken just referenced Sleepaway Camp. I suppose it makes sense that Seth Green likes that movie... but did he have to ruin the end for all the camp virgins?

probably.


i seem to be unable to do homework... for like the past 6.5 hrs

Oh Technology...

My parents are trying/failing to figure out how to use their cell phones...


...its cute and sort of sad at the same time

PRODUCT PLACEMENT!!!!11one

T'day I am in Spokane shopping til I drop (like the show on lifetime where the contestants wear matching sweaters and have to run up and down a spiral staircase collecting boxes with serving trays and pictures of luggage inside... man I loved that show when I was 6). At Nordstroms and Macys I saw an unusualy large amount of sixty year old ladies who buy clothes in the junior's section and try to look 40 years younger by any means necessary. I also found Boo Radleys which is kind of like Spokane's answer to Rockin' Rudy's with less music and more oddities.

I purchased Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic which is the sequel to The Hipster Handbook. Both are awesome. Also I heard the Decemberist's new album and it's pretty amazing and sorta hypnotic.

Man I miss Shop Til You Drop... and Supermarket Sweep...

Oh and I just realized that I've been wearing my camisole inside out for at least 3 hours. Sweet.

It may be a hoax but its a damn creepy one...

foreverpuppy

My doggy will stay a puppy forevvvvahhhhhh!

Sleep evades me

So as far as Spring Break goes I'm mostly unproductive and lazy and sleeping for long periods of time and far into the afternoon, but tomorrow I have to actually get up and do things.

Also I need to make art for the doodle art show at area 5...

So do I get some sleep or doodle?

Either way the Who's Tommy is on Encore and that's all right with me.

Whatever it takes - I know I can make it through!

So today I watched like 6 episodes of non-on-the-N Degrassi. And I learned a few things:

• When engaging in sexual activity of any kind, use a condom. Otherwise you could get knocked up (like Manny) or get Gonorrhea from Jay (like Emma).
• If you do happen to get Gonorrhea from Jay it is best you never acknowledge it by wearing "player prize" bracelets or not only will Manny call you a ho, but also Dracula will refuse to kiss you and whenever they can the kids at school will make fun of you for it.
• Also never let Manny catch you getting your mack on with your hot teacher.
• Don't let the school shooter think Jimmy sold him out, or else after Jimmy gets shot he'll tell you that you're dead to him - from his wheelchair...
• For that matter, cut your damn hair Spinner
• Oh and never make out with Liberty in her dad's hot tub

I love Degrassi - it is part of my mission to make you love it too...

Also at no point today did I wear socks.

New Style

I designed this thing like 3 months ago. I put it up tonight for I am slow and bored.

What Not To Wear's Worst Dressed Couple is a dissapointing.

Typing with a laptop on your lap results in a hot lap.

I like Mary Poppins - can you tell?

I am the Epitome of Class

For dinner I ate spaghetti-os in a mixing bowl and stolen tortilla chips.

mmmm classy

I Pulled an Andy...

...and managed to completely miss the back page of my economics test.

Thank god for Pass/Fail.

Beguckin.

A reason to get your grades up -

So I watched Battle Royal and Battle Royal 2 the past few nights and I've come to realize that Japan is one messed up country - I base this much on the fact that these movies were made and then widely distributed (right?) in that country.

Don't get me wrong, they were good... but there's something fairly unsetteling about seeing a bunch of high school kids run around on an island killing each other off lord-of-the-flies-style not because they want to, but because if they don't the collar around their necks will explode. Oh also the kids were chosen cause they are/were "problem students" which in Japan apparently means "got a pink slip in the 3rd grade" and/or "got a C on a test." I think. So their class got picked randomly from a bunch of "problem classes" and now they get to slash the crap out of each other on an island.

There was also a guy who looked like Cloud. From Final Fantasy.

Blanket!

So Michael Jackson's attourneys are having him take the stand...

that's just ignant.




should make for good tv though

Ford This!

Playing the Oregon Trail in elementary school was awesome.

Mostly because as you continued down the trail you ran into gravestones that read like this:

Here lies mAtt

fuck boob shit

R.I.P.

Curse words are fun when you're 8!

Also I liked to see how many oxen/people I could kill off by fording the first river.

Who can kill the most pounds of meat in a minute? Buffalo Hunt!

Recent Obsession

Marcus brought over Katamari Damacy the other day and now we're all rolling up balls of fruit, mice, signposts, dogs and small children. I think I am addicted. Here are things:

• The King of All Cosmos has a frickin huge codpiece.
• The Prince of All Cosmos looks like a jolly rancher.
• The block-headed children must be on acid if they're "feeling the cosmos."
• Collecting swans is hard, collecting crowns is harder and trying to pick out virgins from a group of random women is impossible.
• My Katamari would, like, so totally kick your Katamari's ass
• Shawn always beats me at 2 player cause he is stealthy
• I may have founs something to waste more of my time than Sims 2

There is more probably.

if i had a ton of money

I'd buy everything at Shagmart.

http://www.shagmart.com/

Everything.

Pack Your Bags We're Giong to Camp...

I think my favorite thing in life is when I see a new camper experience Sleepaway Camp for the first time.

the tiny shorts
the ambiguous sexuality
the awesome mom
the longest baseball scene ever
the "amazing" acting
the Steve Perry look-alike
the worst use of a curling iron
the best mustache in cinema history
and of course -
THE BEST ENDING OF ALL TIME

It almost brings a tear to my eye.

-Camp Counselor Becca

Things in Class

my media arts teachers encouraged us to lie in our stories we write in class



i am going start a giraffe farm

in upstate new york

in a climate controlled bubble

my favorite one will be named Gil

What I'm Doing Right Now.

Watching a city go down - VOLCANO STYLE!

Take that Pompeii.

Facebook.com

Everybody seems to be on it and although I've only beem onit since like Wednesday like 5 people have been like "I saw you're in the facebook!" and I was like - "yes for 6 hours" so i think the facebook people are onto something.

Its better than myspace... perhaps I'll have to sell out and get one of those too.


"Youre on myspace!!! So am I!!!"
*punched*


Arrested Development is on in 1 hour... how will I hold myself over?

Surreal Life

Any show where Mini Me gets drunk and then gets naked and then pees in a corner is okay in my book.




My book is very inclusive.

Know what's awesome?

Going through a box of kleenex in 2 hours.

Also Sons and Daughters are pretty awesome - that one's for reals.

Like 5 DVD Players!

I like Pimp My Ride for 2 reasons:
One because in the beginning Xzibit just pops out of everywhere and all of a sudden he's the car. All of a sudden he's just poofing up everywhere on your screen like he shares some genetics with bunnies. Knowing that Xzibit is magic is a fun thing,
Two because no matter how cool the actual "pimp" is they usually render any storage space in the car useless. It's like this:
Xzibit: "Check this out back here in your trunk you got a complete horse derby back here cause I know you like to bet on the ponies.
Pimped Kid: Yeah but I use my trunk to transport important things.
Xzibit: What! You got like 5 DVD players back there!!1 And you got Xbox. You've offically been pimped.

I don't know who needs that many TVs and DVD players in their car, but apparently West Coast Customs knows something I don't. I guess everyone should be able to watch a movie, play Xbox and have a thumpin stereo and some other random customized toy in their car.

I did like the Xzibit personalized car alarm though... that was pretty pimp.

God Bless the USA channel

Where else can you get screamin guitar solos over the credit reel at 1 AM?

Attn: World

Elvis is not 70 today.

He is, in fact, dead.

That is all.

Boy Meets Baggie

Did you ever notice how as the seasons progressed the older brother on Boy Meets World got increasingly dumber? His presence was eventually limited from brotherly advice to pure wackiness and tomfoolery. Originally I thought this was just a case the writers on BMW being lazy, that was until I recently when I ran into a person I hadn't seen in a while. This person, like Eric Matthews, seemed to have lost all the sensibility I remembered them as having. Suddenly it all made sense, I understood the older brother ‘s situation – pity ABC’s family schedule wouldn’t show the cause of Eric’s downward spiral as it may have helped many with decisions down the line.

Eric Matthews Syndrome exists in the real world, you just have to smoke enough pot.

But hey, at least you get to have zanier adventures.

Columnist on the Mundane

That's what I decided to call myself today while I watched the skit on SNL where they drink cookie dough like its Gatorade while "Love Hurts" plays in the background.

Also I decided that since I need to find a way to combine beans and blueberries for optimum healthiness. Beanberry casserole here we come.

Stay Classy San Diego!

Soulseek

I don't understand why but soulseek is not working and I find that very irritating as I am trying to hear what "Dogs Die In Hot Cars" sound like. Damn you soulseek.

I could just buy more CDs...

In the Making

Welcome to Only The British Can Fly where I will talk about pretty much nothing AKA the stuff I think about when I am bored and have an internet connection at my fingertips.